A few days ago, Justin asked for something to eat. I suggested a few things, and he finally settled on a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. When I got up to go make it, he asked if he could make it. I said yes and we headed to the kitchen.
What happened next can only be described as excruciating. Something that would have taken me 5 minutes turned into a 20 minute ordeal that ended with more peanut butter on the counter than on the sandwich. He was proud of his creation, though, and he ate every last bit of it.
I thought that Justin’s sandwich is really a good metaphor for raising kids. You have to let go of your need to control outcomes. You have to release your idea of what ‘right’ looks like. You have to let them make their own sandwiches - literally and metaphorically.
You have to let it be.