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A while back I had the good fortune to share a meal with a friend. It was a wonderful conversation, one of those where time seems to be an alien concept and you lose yourself in the moment. I even forgot about the food which I never do, especially when the food was as good as this food was.
Part of what made our conversation great were the qualities my friend brought to our time together. They are bright, interesting, and empathetic. They can read and understand situations and people and talk about things in a way that is both intelligent and caring. This is a pretty rare quality, and it was nice to talk to someone who possesses it.
One of the main reasons we had gotten together was to talk about something that my friend is going through right now. I don’t think they wanted advice – and I didn’t give any – but what they *did* want was someone to listen to them and hear what they had to say.
What stood out to me was that my friend, for all their deftness and ability to understand and describe the predicaments of other people, had a stunning lack of insight into their own behavior and choices. They had a finely tuned emotional sense when it came to others but were blind to their own missteps and misjudgments, even to their strengths and value.