This week, Barb and I had the chance to support some dear friends as they had a hard conversation about their relationship. We tried our best to hold space for them and show them love while they talked through some things. 

It struck me that this process was happening during Valentine’s week. Valentine’s Day is often how we think of love, all pink hearts and chocolate. We think of fairy tales and wedding dresses and happily ever after. We think of Hollywood, meet cute, rom-com love. And I totally get that. It is appealing to think of love as a sweet, simple, and uncomplicated thing. We say that we “fall in” love, like it is something passive that just happens. And that may be true. At least in the beginning.

For love to last, though, it has to move beyond roses and chocolate. Don’t get me wrong, roses and chocolate are great. I guess. I don’t like chocolate and my formative memory of roses is watching my football deflate after landing in my grandmother’s exceptionally thorny rose bushes. 

Pink hearts and fairy tale endings are great. But love that lasts requires something deeper.