Dead Flowers
I can’t keep plants alive. And, I don’t mean that metaphorically or hyperbolically. I mean I am a botanical serial killer.
Over the years I have been gifted dozens of plants from family and friends, and bought maybe a dozen more. I have tried to grow vegetables, herbs, and a couple of ferns. Every single plant has ended up dead at my hand.
I have even killed cacti - including one that I was told by the garden store associate who sold it to me was “impossible to kill.” Ha ha, you silly fool. I laugh in the face of your challenge. Granted, it took a couple of months, but even that immortal cactus died under my care.
I am the Charles Cullen for household plants.