Around Valentine’s Day of 1988 - 35(!!!) years ago - my mom let me know that we were moving. Again. I was close to the end of my junior year at my 3rd high school. She told me that we were moving to Albany, Georgia (which I had never heard of). I was about to move to my 4th high school in my third state. I had gone to two in Texas and my current high school in Florida.

It would be an understatement to say I was upset. 

I wasn’t upset about changing schools. I had done that a lot. In fact, I was hoping to change schools the next year anyway. I had applied to the district’s performing arts magnet school, and had completed my acting audition just a couple of weeks before. I felt like I had a really good chance of getting into the school and pursuing my passion for acting. And now my mom was telling me that we would be leaving within the next few days for Georgia. 

Yep, I was pissed.

We went to Georgia so my mom could manage an apartment complex and my stepdad (then her boyfriend) could work for an agricultural services company. It was an opportunity for them, but it was a (another) huge disruption for me. I would have to start all over again in a new school. I would have to rebuild all the parts of my life again. On top of the fact that I was missing out on going to the school that I really wanted to go to where I would be able to act and perform. 

We moved a few days after she told us. A couple of weeks after that we got the forwarded letter from the performing arts school. I had been accepted. It only added to the frustration and isolation I felt at my new school in Georgia. For the rest of my junior year I kept mostly to myself, observing the new school. I tried to get a sense of the social dynamics and how students and teachers interacted with each other and with parents and administration. 

Toward the end of the year, I started coming out of my shell a bit. I got to know some of the kids. I went to the prom. With a 24 year old. It was a whole thing. But it definitely got some attention. I went into that summer feeling like I would at least be able to get through my senior year. I wasn’t really able to think beyond that.

Then, my senior year, I met Barb in AP English. I met her because I was sitting in her seat. We started talking, and that led to a date at that Friday’s football game. Then she invited me to a youth group meeting at her church. And before I really knew what was happening, she was my girlfriend and I was madly in love with her. 

That was 33 years ago. 

We started dating when we were 17. We were kids. We grew up together. And we have been through so much.

In those three decades we have lived through 5 kids (and now 1 grandkid!) - 3 of which are now adults, 12 years in the military, multiple deployments, a global financial crisis, a pandemic, two autism diagnoses. 

We have been better and we have been worse. As a family, we have all been together and we have at times all drifted apart. As a couple, we have taken each other for granted at times, and forgotten how lucky we are, and how truly special what we have is.

We have been richer and we have been poorer. At one point we were so broke that we bought hamburger helper because it was on sale, but we couldn’t afford the hamburger meat to go with it. So we just had helper. And we also bought a house together and made it a home.

We have had sickness and we have had health. We have spent time in hospitals and mental health facilities. We have battled physical and mental illnesses. We have learned the value of therapy and the right medications.

In the end, we know that death will be what makes us part. Because we love each other. Because we were meant to be together.

Sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like if I had stayed in Florida and gone to the performing arts school. I might have become an actor. I might be famous. Or I might be working at Dave and Buster’s and doing local TV ads. I don’t know. 

What I do know is that somehow my parents ended up in Albany, Georgia, and I ended up meeting the person I was supposed to find. 

Life works like that sometimes. We bounce around and somehow end up where we are supposed to be, as if pulled there by a magnet. 

I don’t know where you are this Valentine’s Day. I don’t know where your cosmic magnet has pulled you, or who it has pulled you to, or pushed you away from (magnets do both). I do know that wherever you are it is where you are meant to be right now. That doesn’t mean you are supposed to be there tomorrow or next year. Just right now.

Look around. Be open to the universe.

You might just end up find yourself sitting in the seat that will change your whole life.